Dogs Are Smarter Than People: Writing Life, Marriage and Motivation

Join an internationally bestselling children's book author and her down-home husband and their dogs as they try to live a happy, better life by being happier, better people . You can use those skills in ...more

Hosted by

Latest Episodes

April 05, 2022 00:11:53
Episode Cover

MAKE FRIENDS LIKE YOU ARE A DAMN FLAMINGO

Here’s the thing: A lot of us are lonely. Really lonely. And making friends? As an adult? It can feel kind of scary. Why does this matter? Well, Sherri Gordon on Very Well Mind cuts right to the chase: We want all that for you, so we’re here with some advice on how to make friends Check out the people you work with One great way to make friends according to Dr. Miriam Kiramyer, a clinical psychologist interviewed by Emily Burns for The Cut is: “We all have workplace acquaintances that we know deep down could be something more. Dr. Kirmayer suggests taking the leap to growing those relationships. Find a common denominator you can bond over, like a shared hobby or interest! You don’t have to talk about work. “Making an effort to gradually open up about different parts of your life, that can help to deepen that sense of connection,” said Kirmayer. Talk about your life, what you like to do in your free time, etc. Perhaps set up a Zoom coffee chat with your fave colleague or schedule a hangout with the neighbor you always joke with in the hallway. Very Well Mind has a slew of suggestions, but one that resonated with us is: “Reach Out to Neighbors “Many people don't realize they have a potential friend living right next door or across the street. They give the courtesy wave and immediately close their door, not even trying to start a conversation. But there may be some really great friendships waiting for you right next door. So the next time you are both out, do more than just wave.” And then there is . . . Be Brave You have to be brave ...

Listen

April 04, 2022 00:02:02
No One Wants to Admit

No One Wants to Admit

Hi! This year (2022), I've decided to share a poem on my blog and podcast and read it aloud. It's all a part of my quest to be brave and apparently the things that I'm scared about still include: My spoken voiceMy raw poems. Thanks for being here with me and cheering me on and I hope that you can become braver this year, too! No one wants to admit that the moment they are home alone, They start singing show tunes or childhood hits, Pretending the crowds are adoring as they slide in socks across a hard wood floor That isn’t actually a stage and there is no TikTok video being made. Only we, random humans with our ridiculous bodies, All gangling and bulbous, opposable thumbs a highlight Want to be famous in secret—so many dreams sung off-key Into the space of the kitchen, the only audience the dogs Since the cats wisely look away. Hey, thanks for listening to Carrie Does Poems. These podcasts and more writing tips are at Carrie’s website, carriejonesbooks.blog. There’s also a donation button there. Even a dollar inspires a happy dance in Carrie, so thank you for your support. The music you hear is made available through the creative commons and it’s a bit of a shortened track from the fantastic Eric Van der Westen and the track is called "A Feather" and off the album The Crown Lobster Trilogy. While Carrie only posts poems weekly here, she has them (in written form) almost every weekday over on Medium. You should check it out! https://freemusicarchive.org/music/eric-van-der-westen/the-crown-lobster-trilogy-selection ...

Listen

March 29, 2022 00:11:09
Unplug Yourself and Bark Back and Find Your Agency

Unplug Yourself and Bark Back and Find Your Agency

There’s an Anne Lamott quote that says, “Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes—including you.” And that’s a lovely quote and quite true in so many instances, but also sometimes? Sometimes it can feel next to impossible to unplug. Sometimes that unplugging has to be a dramatic event where you realize that you have to rescue yourself from the habits that are controlling your life, or the people controlling your life and you have to actually take your own control of your life. I know! I know! Terrifying. But the first question is: how do you actually take control over your life? Over at the greatergood, there are some potential possibilities that we’re going to share here. It’s a great article written by Anthony Rao and Paul Napper back in 2019. Controlling Stimuli They write: “Agency begins with what you let into your mind—meaning what comes in from your environment. If you are lacking agency, it’s likely your attention is being hijacked and you need to figure out how to restore it.” A phone next to you when you’re reading? It’s probably going to distract you, they say. But walking outside? It lets your brain recharge. Same thing with email notifications.  Another thing they suggest is . . . “Associate Selectively” They write: “It’s impossible not to be affected by those around us—it’s easy to “catch” their emotions, for example, and our brains tend to synch up when we associate with other people. That means you should set boundaries with difficult people, disentangle yourself from negative online interactions, and be more conscious of how you might be vulnerable to “groupthink”—pressures to behave or think in ways that are contrary to your values.” How ...

Listen

March 22, 2022 00:11:15
Is My Beer Okay and the Problems With People Pleasing

Is My Beer Okay and the Problems With People Pleasing

When Carrie was growing up, she spent a lot of time trying to make sure her mom didn’t cry or get too mad or sad. “One of my earliest memories is actually yelling at my poor dad, telling him that I hated him because he made ‘my mommy’ cry. I was younger than four and I had no idea what was going on with them, but to my little four-year-old brain, keeping my mom happy was my job and duty.” But what that taught Carrie was that you have to please other people to keep things from erupting into chaos. Her mom didn’t consciously teach that to her at all, and her mom had a lot of people pleaser in her, too. And then a bad relationship with a man with alcohol issues and abusive tendencies made it even worse. How can you have a want when that want might mean you’ll get pushed up against a wall? The problem with being a people pleaser is that you spend so much time thinking about how your actions impact others that you forget to make decisions on what you yourself want to do. So now when she’s asked things like, “What’s your favorite food? Where do you want to go to dinner? Where would you like to go on vacation?” She freezes up. She’s lost the ability to make decisions for herself because she’s afraid of the consequences and because she wants everyone else to be happy. Tiny Buddha has an article about three questions that you can ask yourself if you’re a people pleaser to help you reorient to putting yourself first occasionally and not do the Carrie freeze. Those questions are: Is this my ...

Listen

March 15, 2022 00:16:59
Episode Cover

Stuff a Crossbow Down Your Trousers and Be Your Own Guru

When we follow people—be the authors or internet gurus all about self-help or celebrities or influencers, we only see one side of who they are: the shiny side. We see the end product of a book, a video, a photo, a blog post, a speech, but we don’t see the day-to-day humanity behind that. We consume the product, become devoted to the person, even sometimes think we’re friends with the person, and sometimes even think the things in their lives belong more to us than to them. And that’s pretty interesting, right? Last week our dog, Gabby, died and because Gabby is a big part of Carrie’s message and social media, she posted that Gabby had passed. So many people were lovely and kind and expressed so much sympathy because Gabby presented something good in their lives and because they were kind and had empathy because they’d been through loss, too. But one person sent a message that said they were still really sad about Gabby and that Carrie may still be struggling. And that? That one little word ‘may,’ when combined with their statement about being really sad? It made us stop and think even though we know this person is absolutely lovely and only has the best of intentions. Still, it was our dog that died, but we were the ones who may still be struggling? We are no Tim Ferris or Kardashian or Tony Robbins or Anne Lamott, but our lives are real and not just consumption for others. We get joyous, desperately sad, grieve, make massive mistakes, and sometimes even do things incredibly right. Sometimes when we follow others, we forget that those other people are people and sometimes we forget ...

Listen

March 09, 2022 00:20:43
Let’s Get Fighting BECAUSE Conflict in Stories Is Good

Let’s Get Fighting BECAUSE Conflict in Stories Is Good

Hey, everyone! We're having a wee bit of drama in our lives, so we're taking this week off in the podcasts. Gasp! I know! We never do that. But it means that we're going to bring back one of our podcasts for a lovely redo. It's great! Here you go! And we hope you're all doing well! In our random thoughts, we talk about: Killer trees in MaineFBI agents looking for goldChainsaws being a hot stolen item. One of the big things that pretty much every traditional story in Western culture needs is conflict. CHARACTER + WANT + OBSTACLE = CONFLICT In your story or your life, you have wants? Sometimes there are obstacles in the way. They keep you from getting your want. Therein lies the conflict. The story becomes interesting because of how you or your character deals with that obstacle. A lot of writers wait a long time to get that conflict into their stories. Don’t do this. It is usually boring when you do this. Nobody wants to be boring. There are two overall types of conflict – internal (inside the character) and external (outside the character), but they can be broken down even more. AND THERE ARE TONS OF DIFFERENT TYPES OF CONFLICTS. CHOOSE ONE. MAKE THAT LITTLE JERK YOUR FRIEND. First off, there are all sorts of lists about the types of conflict in novels. Sometimes you’ll see four. Sometimes you’ll see three. Whatever. Nothing is ever set in stone. Character vs. character -Podcaster Carrie is trying desperately to not get an explicit rating, but her co-podcaster, Shaun, likes being explicit. How will Carrie make $5 a year off her podcast if it is banned? Character vs. society – Podcaster Shaun must fight against an overly ...

Listen