There was a post on Medium on PS I LOVE YOU called, “The Silent Relationship Killer You Never See Coming” about how the silent relationship killer is basically routine and sameness.
The author, Barry Davret, compared relationships to a song that you love so intensely you listen to over and over again obsessively, but then suddenly, you are done with that song.
Couples, he says, set weekly and daily routines after that initial burst of frantic attraction and then? They get bored of having intercourse every Saturday, date night every Friday, laundry every Monday.
If they’re polite, they’ll still ask each other how their days went, but they won’t actually care about the answer because the answer is always the same.
“Look back on the last six months. Does it feel like it was one day lived 180 times?”
This has never happened to us. As you can tell from our random thoughts, we’re weird. We’re so weird especially when we’re alone. I will fall down laughing because of the things Shaun says.
We think that Barry has it right, but he also has it wrong.
Yes, people get dulled by routines and because of the comfort in routines, and that might be partially be because they've stopped doing things on their own. But it's also more about empathy and building walls around yourself so you don't get hurt. The person you're in a relationship with sees you warts and all? And that, my friends, can be a bit scary.
How does this relate to writing? Hold on! We’re getting there.
Our novels and characters also need to have tiny doses of the unexpected to keep people from being bored. We want to have each character have differences and not be the same. That sameness, that lack of diversity? It makes Johnny a dull boy. Insert quirks into your characters.
Even when you’re on the same walk that your person always takes you on, there’s going to be a nuance in the smells you sniff up on the side of the road. Rejoice in that nuance. Seek it out. Live in the moment. It’s a good way not to be bored.
The music we’ve clipped and shortened in this podcast is awesome and is made available through the Creative Commons License. Here’s a link to that and the artist’s website. Who is this artist and what is this song? It’s “Night Owl” by Broke For Free.
I just published a super cool adult novel. Gasp! I know! Adult! That’s so …. grown-up?
Rosie Jones, small town reporter and single mom, is looking forward to her first quiet Maine winter with her young daughter, Lily. After a disastrous first marriage, she’s made a whole new life and new identities for her and her little girl. Rosie is more than ready for a winter of cookies, sledding, stories about planning board meetings, and trying not to fall in like with the local police sergeant, Seamus Kelley.
But after her car is tampered with and crashes into Sgt. Kelley’s cruiser during a blizzard, her quiet new world spirals out of control and back into the danger she thought she’d left behind. One of her new friends is murdered. She herself has been poisoned and she finds a list of anagrams on her dead friend’s floor.
As the killer strikes again, it’s obvious that the women of Bar Harbor aren’t safe. Despite the blizzard and her struggle to keep her new identity a secret, Rosie sets out to make sure no more women die. With the help of the handsome but injured Sgt. Kelley and the town’s firefighters, it’s up to Rosie to stop the murderer before he strikes again.
You can order it here. Please, please, preorder it.
So, um, please go buy it. I am being brave, but that means that despite all my reasons for doing this, I’m still terrified that nobody will buy it and I really, really love this book. A lot.
My new book, IN THE WOODS, is out!
It’s with Steve Wedel. It’s scary and one of Publisher’s Weekly’s Buzz Books for Summer 2019. There’s an excerpt of it there and everything! But even cooler (for me) they’ve deemed it buzz worthy! Buzz worthy seems like an awesome thing to be deemed!
Order this bad boy, which might make it have a sequel. The sequel would be amazing. Believe me, I know. It features caves and monsters and love. Because doesn’t every story?
Buy limited-edition prints and learn more about my art here on my site.
So, this woman, Aileen Weintraub on the Huffington Post, has an article that’s headline is, “I’m a Grown Woman and I Still Sleep with a Stuffed Animal.” “George is my deep, dark secret, and I’m sharing our story now in the time of COVID-19 because many of us are quietly struggling.”Aileen Weintraub And the article is sweet and lovely, and poor Aileen had COVID-19 and was terribly sick and was even more stressed because George, her stuffed dog has been with her for thirty years and she didn’t know if her stuffed animal would be able to go with her if she had to come to the hospital. And she was ashamed because stuffed animals are allegedly “transitional objects.” She wrote, “I love my family, but this little hound doesn’t take up much room and he doesn’t shift the sheets. I don’t have to explain myself to him. He doesn’t ask questions and he’s always there, a personal touchstone I can depend on. George doesn’t judge. He never complains and I never have to cook for him. He never rummages through the fridge and tells me there is no food in the house. He doesn’t leave towels on the floor. He doesn’t bark while I’m on a conference call. George gets me. “When I was quarantined for 16 days as the coronavirus ravaged my body, no one in my family could touch me. I communicated with them via text or through a closed door. But George was there. He is so quiet that it would ...
Tonight we’re talking about weird hobbies. And on the podcast itself we talk a lot more about this than we do in these notes. We even talk about WHY people have hobbies. What I like is when people who don’t even realize that their hobbies are weird or maybe just embarrassing. Coburg Banks has a list of weird hobbies people actually put on their resume, and while they aren’t weird? It is a bit strange to put them down for a potential employer. We’re talking about things like. “I like sex.” “Drinking.” “Hacking.” “Farmville.” “Talking.” “Honestly, I like doing nothing.” “Escapology.” “Time travel.” “Snake skin collecting.” “Arguing with people online.” “Ferret racing.” “Stalking celebrities.” “Being awesome.” “I have 14 cats.” “Netflix n’ chill.” “Crash dieting.” And out in the regular world, there is the hobby of mooing. There is actually a moo-la-palooza in Wisconsin where people try to sound like a cow. People also collect in-flight sickness bags, navel fluff, and ecstasy pills. A guy has done this for two decades. And they throw their wives around. There’s even the pretty cool hobby of Toy Voyaging, as explained by Stupid Hobby is “ToyVoyagers are traveling toys that are passed from person to person. To continue its journey, toys can be released into the wild for somebody to find. Their travels are tracked on a website. Each toy carries a unique identification number on a tag. A message on the tag encourages anyone who comes into contact with it to go to the website and update its Travelog with photographs.” But our fave? It’s got to be guerrilla gardening. Listen to the podcast and find out why. ...
Hey! Welcome to a bonus interview episode of Dogs are Smarter Than People, the usually quirky podcast that gives writing tips and life tips. I’m Carrie Jones and with me today is author and Mainer Ronni Arno. Ronni! Ronni is a MG and YA novelist who thinks cool and her deubt novel RUBY REINVENTED. She likes to kayak, has adorable rescue dogs, and was actually born in Brooklyn, but has somehow become an absolute New Englander. A morning person who likes fuzzy socks, help us welcome her to Dogs are Smarter Than People. In this podcast, Ronni talks about a ton of helpful things including imposter syndrome and what it's like to write a book with six other people. Check out the interview, like and subscribe, but also check out Ronni's books and super cool website and spread the love! A couple of Ronni's books! WHERE TO FIND OUR PODCAST, DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE. The podcast link if you don’t see it above. Plus, it’s everywhere like Apple Music, iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and more. Just google, “DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE” then like and subscribe. Join the 244,000 people who have downloaded episodes and marveled at our raw weirdness. You can subscribe pretty much ...