Shaun: A week or so ago, someone told Carrie that she’d be better served if she didn’t present as insecure on her social media.
Carrie: For the record, I am just open about when I’m scared about things. I’m not sure insecurity is the same as fear. I mean, I guess it is to a certain extent. But I’m not insecure about who I am. I like who I am, an occasionally anxious, goofy, smart, creative, quirky, open-book kind of person. Does that sound like who I am?
Shaun: Pretty much.
Carrie: Anyways, here’s the thing. You can pretend to be someone you aren’t. You can present any damn way you choose. But that’s it – it’s your choice. Nobody else’s.
Shaun: And Carrie? She has no problem being vulnerable. In her book, Daring Greatly, Brene Brown writes that the biggest myth about vulnerability is that it is weakness. And that’s possibly what happened with that person’s comment to Carrie last week.
Carrie: To be fair, about once a year a woman writer, usually older than I am, will tell me to present as more confident because I am strong and talented. They are trying to help me, personally, and the cause of all women, too. I think? But I don’t see the dichotomy between strength and vulnerability. They shouldn’t be on opposite ends of a line.
Shaun: Brene Brown writes, “We’ve come to the point where, rather than respecting and appreciating the courage and daring behind vulnerability, we let our fear and discomfort become judgement and criticism.”
Carrie: And she also says this, which I think is how it pertains to writers and artists and this podcast, “Vulnerability isn’t good or bad: It’s not what we call a dark emotion, nor is it always a light, positive experience. Vulnerability is the core of all emotions and feelings. To feel is to be vulnerable. To believe vulnerability is weakness is to believe that feeling is weakness.”
Shaun: So vulnerability is writing. Because vulnerability is risk and emotional exposure. And even the act of writing is vulnerable because almost the first thing someone asks you is, “Oh? Have I read you?” It’s like they determine your worth just by whether or not you’ve been on a bestseller list or not.
Carrie: Exactly, but just writing and deciding to create is a risk because it’s not the most financially secure thing in the world, but it also is because once you put your creation out there – unlike the accountant – you are vulnerable via ratings and bad reviews and internet trolls, which is massive emotional exposure. But it’s more than that. Writers have to incorporate emotion and vulnerability on the page. They create characters who are meant to tweak the readers’ emotions. Writers are like the tsars of vulnerability.
WRITING TIP OF THE POD
You are a writer. You are a human. Embrace your ability to take risks, to be vulnerable. Emotions are not weakness.
DOG TIP FOR LIFE
Allow yourself to lick the kitten in public, adopt those who you love. Be open. Be vulnerable. Love.
The music we’ve clipped and shortened in this podcast is awesome and is made available through the Creative Commons License. Here’s a link to that and the artist’s website. Who is this artist and what is this song? It’s “Night Owl” by Broke For Free.
Um. MacMillan is having a super cool sweepstakes where you can win the book I wrote with Steve (IN THE WOODS) and four other scary books.
Go enter! Go win! I'm rooting for you!
The Write. Submit. Support. format is designed to embrace all aspects of the literary life. This six-month course will offer structure and support not only to our writing lives but also to the roller coaster ride of submissions: whether that be submitting to agents or, if agented, weathering the submissions to editors. We will discuss passes that come in, submissions requests, feedback we aren’t sure about, where we are feeling directed to go in our writing lives, and more. Learn more here!
“Carrie’s feedback is specific, insightful and extremely helpful. She is truly invested in helping each of us move forward to make our manuscripts the best they can be.”
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My new book, IN THE WOODS, is out!
It’s with Steve Wedel. It’s scary and one of Publisher’s Weekly’s Buzz Books for Summer 2019. There’s an excerpt of it there and everything! But even cooler (for me) they’ve deemed it buzz worthy! Buzz worthy seems like an awesome thing to be deemed!
Order this bad boy, which might make it have a sequel. The sequel would be amazing. Believe me, I know. It features caves and monsters and love. Because doesn’t every story?
Buy limited-edition prints and learn more about my art here on my site.
Get exclusive content, early podcasts, videos, art and listen (or read) never-to-be-officially published writings of Carrie on her Patreon. Levels go from $1 to $100 (That one includes writing coaching and editing for you wealthy peeps).
WHAT IS PATREON?
A lot of you might be new to Patreon and not get how it works. That’s totally cool. New things can be scary, but there’s a cool primer HERE that explains how it works. The short of it is this: You give Patreon your paypal or credit card # and they charge you whatever you level you choose at the end of each month. That money supports me sharing my writing and art and podcasts and weirdness with you.
Today's Podcast Link if you can't see it below or at the top of this post.
Over on the random thought part of the podcast, we hear about Carrie being passive-aggressive at the campground bathroom, Shaun sing, and random people at Smokey's Barbecue and Lobster. But here is the more intellectual stuff. Um. Slightly more intellectual stuff? This guy Malcolm Gladwell wrote a book Outliers and in it he outlines his belief that if you practice something for 10,000 hours and do that in a deliberate way, then you’ll become a top performer. Who are the outliers? They are the best and the brightest. We don’t want you to freak out over that 10,000 hours bit because that’s like saying, “Hey Shaun, I know you can’t run more than 60 seconds right now, but this Friday you’re going to run for 93 minutes.” Spoiler alert: Shaun ran for 93-minutes straight on Friday. Carrie did too. Anyway, this guy named Danny Forest who writes on Medium breaks it down to something that feels a bit more doable. He says that he can learn soft skills in about eight hours and breaks it into working 30 minutes each day on those skills. That seems a lot better than 10,000 hours, right? There’s a difference between competence and brilliance, but that half-hour concentrated focus is how so many of us build our skills. Even dogs. So, inspired by Mr. Forest, the Farrar has three things he wants to learn: Make movies on ...
A lot of us humans and writers spend a lot of time trying to impress people by being extra wordy. And it seems like we’re all trying to avoid the word “because.” This is extremely cruel to the word “because,” which probably gets hurt feelings, but it’s also super cruel to your readers and/or listeners who deserve clarity. They need to understand what you’re putting down. So, when it comes to “because,” we do not need to say: The reason is because (that’s redundant).Due to the fact thatOn the grounds thatOn account of If you sound like a lawyer in a bad tv procedural? You’re trying too hard. HERE IS CONTRARY ADVICE…. “BECAUSE” OR “SINCE” CAN SOMETIMES FORCE YOU TO BE WORDY. With the words ‘because’ and ‘since,’ you can almost always use either one. They are interchangeable BFFs. Here are some examples. Because I hate you, I decided to date.Since I hate you, I decided to date. They both mean “because” here because they are synonyms. But sometimes “since” means “from the time’ instead of ‘because.’ Since we went to Disney, I’ve been crushing on Pluto. That means “ever since the time they went to Disney” not “because.” But you might not know that, right? So, instead you might want to be wordy. You don’t want to be ambiguous and have people wondering if you mean “because” or “ever since the time they went to Disney.” The whole point in writing and talking is for people to understand you, so don’t be a schmuck. Be clear. WRITING TIP OF THE POD Don’t be wordy and know what your words mean and what they’re conveying to the reader. DOG TIP FOR LIFE Listen more than you speak. Look for clues in your environment and people’s actions so ...
Perfectionists aren’t perfect people. They are almost always miserable people. Seriously. Think about it. There’s no such thing as perfect and if you are constantly trying to achieve perfection? What happens? Misery happens. This is true for your life and for your writing. The sad news is that a lot of writers are perfectionists, which means they are miserable. There’s this great article on the Verywell Mind that has the 10 signs that you might be a perfectionist. But here are some of the signs: Signs of Perfectionism All-Or-Nothing Thinking – You can only accept perfection, your goal, nothing else will do. Critical Eye – Tiny mistakes are the kingdom of your land and you fixate on them. “Push” vs “Pull” – According to the article, perfectionist are “pushed toward their goals by a fear of not reaching them.” But high achieving people? They are happy making steps towards the goals and not constantly worrying/stressing about not getting there yet. Unrealistic Standards – Your goal to be God is ridiculous. That’s basically all this is. Your goal is to be the ultimate at something, something that is not possible. And you know it, but you still make that your goal. Focusing on Only Results – You don’t care about the process of getting there. Depressed by Unmet Goals – What is this thing called happiness? Perfectionists have a hard time knowing this thing. Fear of Failure – It is overwhelming and it starts to taint everything perfectionists do. Procrastination – Elizabeth Scott puts this in her article and phrases it so well, “This is because, fearing failure as they do, perfectionists will sometimes worry so ...